A Happening for Voice and Internet in one Act.
CAST:
A wise old STORYTELLER
A nasty TROUBLEMAKER
With commentary from the CHORUS, sung by the CHILDREN’S BBC WEBSITE.
STORYTELLER: Gather round, children. With the help of our friends the BBC, I am going to tell you a story, nay an epic; an epic of hope long frustrated, of struggle, of eventual victory! It all started in 2001.
Those on the “Rights Now!” march, organised by youth groups, want children’s rights to be taught at school.
It also celebrates the 10th anniversary of the UK’s agreement on the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child, which applies to under 18s.
They feel not enough’s being done to stop bullying, poverty, and racism which affect young people.
And they hope the march to Downing Street, where they’ll present Tony Blair with a birthday cake, will put pressure on the government to create a Children’s Rights Commissioner for England to give young people a voice.
Andy, 14, explains: “There isn’t anyone in the country who is just there for us. We need someone who can stand up for children and young people when the government is making laws and important decisions that affect us.”
TROUBLEMAKER: He’s talking about this story, “Children march for their rights.”Rather begging the question, that headline, isn’t it? I don’t suppose it occurred to anyone to have the headline “Some kids march for rights they think they should have.” Still less “Some kids march for so-called rights their youth groups and trendy teachers have told them to think they should have.”
STORYTELLER: Ahem. All through 2001 the great movement gathered steam. Politically aware kids, angry at how they were not being taken seriously, demanded Ant and Dec as their representatives. Then during 2002 came the first breakthrough: “Kids make history in Parliament”:
One of the six children, 16-year-old James Sweeney, said it was good to be able to talk to the MPs, and might help get a Children’s Rights Commissioner for England appointed.
“I think it will give young people a chance to say what they want to say for once,” said James.
TROUBLEMAKER: For once?
STORYTELLER: (Firmly) By October of 2002 the storm was rising… “English kids want a children’s commissioner.”
Over 90% of kids in England want a children’s commissioner, according to a survey by charity Unicef.
TROUBLEMAKER: As Harry Hutton says, “there is nothing wrong with these children that a prolonged and merciless beating wouldn’t put right.” Wossit say next, then?
Loads of you think not enough is being done for kids and want a special person to fight for your rights.Over 90% of kids in England want a children’s commissioner, according to a survey by charity Unicef.
TROUBLEMAKER: Yeah, sure. Imagine the survey:
Choose ONE of the following:
Option A: a special friend who will listen to your troubles and make life better, OR
Option B: racism and dirty toilets.
Seriously, does anyone really believe that 90% of British youth pined for a commissioner of their very own? Not unless the BBC breeds robot children on a secret farm somewhere specially to take these surveys. True British youth are much too busy playing Super Smash Mario Brothers Crash Team Melee Double Violence Fun on their NintendoBoy DS-es to have ever heard of commissioners or the lack of them.
STORYTELLER: Begone, foul fiend. O children, heed the words of the website:
A commissioner would be a person specially appointed by the government to listen to children, and tell politicians what would make your life better.
It’s hoped that this would help politicians and other adults take the views and rights of children more seriously.
There is already a commissioner in Wales, and others are planned for Scotland and Northern Ireland.
But the government wants to see how well they work before appointing one in England.
Already, though, the Welsh commissioner has complained about problems such as the terrible state of school toilets.
TROUBLEMAKER: How did we live without someone to complain about school toilets?
STORYTELLER: Silence, slave. The United Nations will now speak:
The United Nations has also said it wants someone who will look after kids and said it was ‘deeply concerned’ that no position exists in England.
TROUBLEMAKER: I think someone should mention that Unicef who carried out the survey is part of that same United Nations that is “deeply concerned that no position exists in England.”
STORYTELLER: Meanwhile the child-slaves groaned in their chains. How desperately they yearned for a commissioner! How devotedly did they complete the Children’s commissioner worksheet!
TROUBLEMAKER: Ouch. That’s below the belt. I didn’t expect a worksheet from the BBC…
STORYTELLER: (Diabolical laughter) NOBODY expects the worksheet! How assiduously did the children design their ideal commissioner!
TROUBLEMAKER: Don’t look, don’t look, it’s too horrible!
STORYTELLER: Eat my dust, capitalist lackey! Meanwhile even the evil oppressors of children knew all was not well. “Too many children are ‘at risk.'”
Children are being put at risk because not enough’s being done to protect them, inspectors have warned … But the report, called Safeguarding Children, didn’t recommend creating a special ‘children’s commissioner’ to stand up for young people’s rights in Parliament.
Not all bad
This is despite a survey by children’s charity, Unicef, which said at least 90 per cent of you wanted a children’s commissioner to make sure your views are heard.
But it wasn’t all bad news. The inspectors did find lots of good work going on to protect children, but said things could be improved in many areas.
TROUBLEMAKER: (Somewhat feebly)I say, isn’t that assumption that not recommending a commissioner was “bad news” rather, you know, unimpartia-
STORYTELLER: Nothing could stop the onward march of history. In June 2003 came the joyful news from the brothers and sisters over the water: “Northern Ireland gets kids’ commissioner.”Loud was the cry of England’s children, “How long? How long O Lord?” (In a non-exclusionary and not specifically religious sense, of course.)
And now, even for benighted England, our story draws to its triumphant close. Attended by the dutiful huzzahs from the BBC that it would no longer dream of according to royalty but now more rationally directs towards a newly-appointed official, we at long last read “England kids’ champion appointed.” At last the prophecy of Julian of Norwich that one day a commissioner would come, yea come with his own office and staff and budget, though not with an individual advocacy function, has been fulfilled: All will be well, and all will be well, and all manner of things will be well. Or, as the BBC put it, “Children in England are finally going to have their voices heard and their rights protected.”
TROUBLEMAKER: (Making a last effort)That um, um assumes that… I can’t remember… I know there was … something about metacontexts … what did all those social workers do before … look, um, what if not all the bullies and dirty toilets and things go away even with a commissioner…
STORYTELLER: Then we’ll appoint a Children’s Czar. Get with the program, scum. You think I haven’t got more where that came from? Wanna vote? (Sotto voce) I just love those survey questions: “Do you agree there should be a children’s champion?” and “Do children need a voice in the Government?” Like the little bleeders are going to say no, hahaha. (Loudly and triumphantly) Wanna hear the loyal cadre acclaim the commissioner?
TROUBLEMAKER: No, no, not that! (A tear slides down his cheek) I – I – I love the children’s commissioner.
But from these bitter truths I must return
To my own History. It hath been told
That I was led to take an eager part
In arguments of civil polity
Abruptly, and indeed before my time
First satire, now allegory. How much more could we take?
Wonderful.
This is brilliant. But does anyone think the UN’s campaigning for children’s rights might be even more effective if it tried to stop its staff from using children for sex?
http://abcnews.go.com/2020/UnitedNations/story?id=489306&page=1
Funnily enough there is absolutely nothing about UN kiddy fiddlers on the BBC website
“Andy, 14, explains: “There isn’t anyone in the country who is just there for us. We need someone who can stand up for children and young people when the government is making laws and important decisions that affect us.”
There are two people, you idiot. They are your parents.
No doubt some will pop in and welcome the continued destruction of the family unit and nationalisation of children. They are welcome to tell me how western civilisation ever got off the ground without a parasitical ‘Children’s Commissioner’. These people are truly sick and perverted.
The fact that the BBC welcomes this is no surprise. The UN is “deeply concerned that no position exists in England.” Sick, weird people.
Is that the same UN whose troops rape children?
OT
Has anyone seen this garbage?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/arts/4455549.stm
BBC reviews play about Rachel Corrie and – guess what – goes all gooey at the knees about her:
“…it does leave you feeling that this was an exceptionally brave young woman. Many people want to make the world a better place, but few struggle so single-mindedly to achieve it. ”
Oh pur-lease.
Pete London. There’s not that many kids left any more with two parents. I guess that was the whole point of undermining the family in the first place. This means the death of the family in Britain – with exception of a few special people (we won’t name names).
re Rachel Corrie, this from LGF
Currently at the Royal Court in London, a play written and directed by terror enabling actor Alan Rickman: My Name is Rachel Corrie.
We noted this work of propaganda for useful idiots when it was in the planning stages last December.
Steven Plaut remembers other Rachels who haven’t been honored yet with plays in posh London theaters:
1. My Name is Rachel Levy (Israeli girl age 17, blown up in a grocery store)
2. My Name is Rachel Thaler (Israeli girl aged 16, blown up in a pizzeria)
3. My Name is Rachel Levi (Israeli girl aged 19, murdered while waiting for the bus)
4. My Name is Rachel Gavish (killed with her husband and son while at home)
5. My Name is Rachel Charhi (blown up while sitting in a cafe)
6. My Name is Rachel Shabo (murdered with her three sons aged 5, 13 and 6 while sitting at home)
It would be interesting knowing how many of THESE Rachels were murdered with explosives smuggled in through the same tunnels that Rachel Corrie and her ISM pro-terrorist friends were “defending”!
Courtesy Little Green Footballs
Ah yes Rachel Corrie. The rabid anti-American agitator, died protecting terrorists arms smuggling tunnels. No wonder the BBC goes all gooey.
What next, Baader Meinhof the musical?
This struck me as being the nastiest passage in the BBC item:-
“Her diary also gives an insight into the ordinary lives of Palestinians who are constantly fearful that their homes will be destroyed by Israeli tanks.”
“This play does not attempt to turn Corrie into a saint.”
I think LGF did that, unfortunately they call her St Pancake.
“Her diary also gives an insight into the ordinary lives of Palestinians who are constantly fearful that their homes will be destroyed by Israeli tanks.”
Which awful constant fear they wouldn’t have had if they didn’t keep blowing up Israeli schools and buses.
Natalie
Without question a superb post.
Re Rachel Corrie
There is an excellent post on the other Rachels on the Royal Court blog. Yay! This is why the blogosphere rocks!
http://www.royalcourttheatre.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=247&PN=1
I think that Natalie, Scott,et. al are ready for prime time. How about it? A Broadway/West End revue called “Ministry of Truth” or some such, with satirical skits and songs. Plenty of material already exists in the archives. It could practically write itself.
The Title “Finger In the Dyke”?
Rob: Good one.
But I get to write the lyrics to the show-stopping Justin Webb solo about “ignorant bible-bashing, trashy-tv watching, bigoted Americans.”
Natalie Solent – whoever you really are, you most decidedly are a genius of the first water. Meant to mention this a long time ago, but was too bashful really.
Given the amount of realtively hard left wing stuff doing the rounds of the minor theatres and low budget cinema at the moment, one wonders why there isn’t equivalent right wing stuff. The silent majority that Howard is always on about would surely lap it up and there must be profits in it as it’s currently a completely untapped market. Time to start exercising creative talents I reckon.
In fact forget I said that, I might have a go myself….
The hard right is as unattractive as the hard left Cockney yet for some reason the hard left is socially tolerated despite the venom behind most of their thinking.
Cockney
We’re too busy earning a living, bringing up families and killing baby foxes.
Andrew
I didn’t mean the hard right as in Combat 18, I meant the sort of views expressed on here which are far from uncommon but rarely expressed in any form of visual entertainment. I recall a discussion on why the BBC never shows drama which is critical of Islamic culture or excessive immigration for example, to which one answer has to be nobody has yet produced anything half decent.
Pete,
I’d say play/film writing was a perfectly legitimate professional occupation. Anyway, what about all the poor sods who’ve been put out of work by the government’s deluge of business regulation? They must have time on their hands.
Cockney,
Well it surely comes down to the fact that the BBC would never commission such programming. “It’s politically incorrect don’t you know.”
I mean how difficult would it be in a documentary to explore the links between WW2 era nazism and modern islamo facism? Not very, the SS was all over the Middle East at one stage. Will it be done? Of course not. “The Israeli’s are the nazis don’t you know”.
Cockney
I used to believe in the concept of the “silent majority”, but when you look at all the stuff they let pass without speaking up you have to assume that the Great Silent Majority are good for one thing only, remaining silent.
Andrew
That’s probably true but the BBC doesn’t have a monopoly on commissioning or producing work, yet there’s still an almost total lack of anything from a right of centre political slant.
The documentary channels show politically untainted programming all the time. The BBC is the only real other commisioner of such programs.
Didn’t the BBC,some years ago, fefuse to screen a play about the Falklands War because it showed Mrs Thatcher in a sympathetic light?
Pauline
After changes were forced upon it the play was broadcast in 2001:
http://www.portal.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2001/11/29/nfalk29.xml
“A TELEVISION play about the Falklands war that the BBC refused to show a decade ago because it was “too Right-wing” and sympathetic to Mrs Thatcher is finally to be put out on Radio 4 in April, on the 20th anniversary of the start of the war.”
“The Falklands Play by Ian Curteis caused enormous controversy when the playwright disclosed in 1986 that the BBC told him it would axe the £1 million drama unless he rewrote parts to show Mrs Thatcher, the Prime Minister, in a less flattering light.”
Quote from Curteis:
“I am a great admirer of the BBC but this was absolutely corrupt. Many at the BBC could not stand Margaret Thatcher.”
Peter
Thanks for that info.
OT slightly
Perhaps little Leo Blair will now ask Daddy to make the nice Childrens Tsar sort out his school’s dinners
(It has been reported that Cherie “Broccoli” Blair said after a visit to a school in the midlands that she was considering giving Leo packed lunches)