Clan Donald and Maggie May…but I doubt it

A wee slice O’ history from the Highlands as we delve into the archives of Clan Donald and put before you never before heard scenes from The Donald’s early years that built his character…his mother’s voice…

Donald…Donald!  Where’s yer troosers lad…dinnay be so rood..an dinnay wear yer coat in the hoos, yehl ne’er feel the benefit when ya go ootside…an dinnay bully the wee foreign lad next door…ya ken he disnay like pencils shoved up his hooter nor ya punching the livin’ daylights oot o’him everytime he knocks on oor door to come in…an stop looking up the lassies’ skirts and pulling their pigtails…an dinnay grab their haggis lad with yer filthy wee mitts, someone’s gotta eat that….an dinnay let me catch you peeing in the loch again…we’ve gotta drink oot of that…an yeh’ll have to apologise yeh ken to Mr McHarrabin for putting a brick through his solar panel, oh and stop yer fraternising with the Sassenach Campbells…ya ken full well we’re not on speaking terms with them lad…no more being friendly to the ol’enemy laddie!

Ah yes, character forming good old days.  I’m sure ‘My Maggie’ will transform the Trumpster as she ticks him off on his approach to women, climate change, enhanced interrogation techniques, NATO and Putin.

Others aren’t so sure…..

Kathy Gyngell: Finger-wagging will get Theresa nowhere with Trump

Theresa May tame Trump? Much has been made of this tremendous task she has ahead of her ever since we heard she was about to cross the pond to meet the White House’s new maverick.

The idea that we could be about to witness an ideological David and Goliath contest frankly made the mind boggle. Some of our illustrious commentators who have been adjuring her to tackle Trump, I fear, must have had a sense of humour bypass or are suffering from serious lack of imagination syndrome.

The Brits (or some of them) can be terribly sanctimonious snobs. 

Is Mr Trump, an international businessman and millionaire, who just rolled through apparently unwinnable Democratic states and prepared to break every rule in the political book, the sort of man to be put in his place by a purse-lipped, disapproving secondary school headmistress? – which is rather what Mrs May looked like in conversation with Mr Marr. In the BBC’s dreams, I’d say.

Mrs May has made  a good start with her defence of liberty and freedom speech to the Republicans. But the British media, led by the high and mighty BBC, is not going to like her ‘tacking’ right. Nor will they let up on the ‘values’ she should be projecting. How will the vicar’s daughter deal with torture as well as the reality TV star, the BBC will continue to keep needling her.

For Mr Trump like Mr Undershaft for all his vulgarity will do more to help society by giving men jobs and a steady income than Mrs May’s government will by passing ever more equalities legislation. For that, as I am sure Trump understands, only makes ever more people ever more dependent on State charity. Once Theresa gets that she won’t need to navigate the BBC’s modern morality tightrope. She can chuck it down the gorge.