The week of a Parliamentary bi – election . The one Andy `Burnham was meant to sail through . A big test for Reform – the mortal enemy of the BBC . So what poison will the BBC deploy ?
Start the Week 23rd February 2025
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2026 – Invest in Tony Blair shredders!
The tabloid Sun takes the top news story of the day and puts it more succinctly than most: After Andy… Now Mandy is arrested
The Daily Star boils it down further: First Andy.. now Mandy
If Andy is a good argument for abolishing the monarchy, then Mandy is a good argument for abolishing politicians.
“Anarchy in the U.K.” is a song by the English punk rock band the Sex Pistols. It was released as the band’s debut single on 26 November 1976.
The Daily Mail reminds us Mandelson is the: …ashen-faced architect of New Labour… – I’m old enough to be recalling that time pre-1997 when he was moustachen-faced
The “Clean-shaven” Shift: Along with other ministers like Geoff Hoon and Stephen Byers, Mandelson removed his facial hair at the dawn of the New Labour era, as clean-shaven looks were preferred, moving away from 1980s perceptions that facial hair was disreputable. – thank you A.I.
The in-the-tank-for-Labour Mirror can’t help but report the arrest and publish the perp walk pics – but rather bizarrely (in what stand up comics term a call back) reprints that one of the former Prince Andy with the red eye: after police quiz – our BBC press review summarises for us: “Disgraced Lord held” echoes the Daily Mirror.
Didn’t there used to be a British tradition of putting a blanket over the head of an arrested person as they were marched into custody? We’ll leave it there. Until we do a call back.
Is US crime at a historic low? BBC Verify assesses claims by the Trump administration (Lucy Gilder & Jake Horton, BBC Verify) – Why?
This’ll be a tricky one given: ‘Don’t talk down London’, says Keir Starmer as he slams Nigel Farage’s Reform UK at PMQs after homicide rate falls… The Metropolitan Police published figures earlier this week showing homicides in the capital are at the lowest for more than a decade, and the per capita rate for these killings at a record low. (Evening Standard)
I’m imagining the opening sequence of the classic tv series Mission Impossible “Your mission, BBC Verify boys and girls, should you wish to accept it, is to diss the Trump adminstration crime figures while at the same time taking care not to throw shade on the Starmer regime crime claims. This Labour government will self-distruct in five seconds”
Do I see the referee is signalling with his arms crossed? Quick, activate the Anti-Racism Protocols! [TM Fifa]
BBC failed to edit out N-word from Baftas (Telegraph)
The tale of twisted sex games in the French countryside, so beloved of the British chattering classes, is given the Royal seal of approval: Queen tells Gisèle Pelicot her new memoir left her ‘speechless’ (BBC)
Pelicot became a global figurehead of strength and feminism after waiving her right to anonymity and confronting dozens of the men who had raped her… The two women sat down for tea together at Clarence House, where Pelicot was joined by her partner, Jean-Loup Agopian, and her literary and legal team. – explains Ian Aikman, BBC
Watch out for the movie rights or perhaps the Netflix series?
Formerly the preserve of BBC and Guardian types, now even that somewhat downmarket déclassé Daily Star takes note of this aspirational tale (do I mean to say inspirational?) : Camilla & brave Gisele
Let’s borrow one from the Beatles…
Gisele, ma belle
These are words that go together well (ooh)
My Gisele
Gisele, ma belle
Sont des mots qui vont très bien ensemble
Très bien ensemble
I love you, I love you, I love you
(Ooh, ooh) that’s all I want to say
(Ooh) until I find a way
I will say the only words I know that you’ll understand
No disrespect to the woman – it’s just that this jaded old media watcher senses her story is being pushed and promoted as distraction from certain uncomfortable matters elsewhere and is a general attack on masculinity.
Regular readers may recall their Mr AsI’s big prediction for 2026 is the return of the Third Mosqueteer from Syria. So the Daily Express screamer headline is music to my ears…
Plot to bring Jihadi bride Shamina back to UK
Cue D:Ream “Things Can Only Get Better”
Belated kudos to the Sun, as referenced above for brevity, their banner headline for the Mandy arrest – with added what stand up comics term a call back to Andy, reads: Things can only get sweatier
Hey, Sir Keir, how’s that: “We are not the Britain of the Brexit years anymore” workin’ out fo’ yer?
Stubbed out? Plans to ban smoking for anyone born after 2009 may breach the UK’s agreement with the European Union and cause a legal battle with Brussels (Times)
Good one Mr Asi!
This is a few days old, but can now apply to the Jihadi bride, as well as Andrew, probably soon, Mandy, and hopefully the whole ‘admin dept’ in Mohammed Street!
ANGRY HE WAS PUT IN THAT POSITION…….
I listened to the hilarious Sir Ed Davey on the BBC this morning.
I imagine he skateboarder his way to the studio, or maybe arrived by hangglider…..his comedy turn definitely brightened up my morning.
Ed seems to have forgotten he was in Government once, whilst we can all agree that Ed’s time in charge of the Post Office could not have been a bigger disaster, today Ed was questioned about answering Parliamentary questions about Andrew M-W. and that man’s role as trade envoy…….without going into the details Ed wanted to make the point that he was only heaping praise on Andrew MW because he didn’t know what he was saying and that that he hadn’t properly read the papers and shouldn’t have been put in such a difficult position. Clearly then nothing was Ed’s fault , he simply didn’t know what he was doing.
Poor,poor , old Ed Davey how he has suffered….let’s all vote for him….to lose his seat.
He needs more time to perfect his various clown routines, waterslides etc, etc, juggling perhaps…the circus beckons.