As a project for the weekend I’ve decided to make a start on the World’s first Beebish/English dictionary. My hope is it will eventually prove an invaluable tool for the audience to better understand the BBC’s news reports – or that I might be able to flog it to the Beeb as a training resource for bucket loads of cash.
I have a few entries below already, but I’d be grateful for suggestions of others* that should be included.
- Australian MP = an Australian Labor politician
- Black MPs = Black Labour MPs
- Daring = Murderous
- Defamatory = Disagreeable
- Far right = Pro-life
- Liberal (in the US sense) = the consensus view in the UK
- Men = Islamist terrorists
- Plumbers = Islamist terrorists
- Republican official = a Republican official
- US mayor = a Democratic US mayor
* with links if possible.
archduke: Ralf Nader will probably take 1-2% of Obama’s vote away from him.
Add on the fact that the polls over sample the Democrats anyway you can probably allow 1-3% off for that.
If Obama is less that 5% ahead in any poll I wouldn’t be sure he’s going to win.
“political scandal” – sarah palin went to the shops
“political turmoil” – sarah palin got a new outfit
“campaign controversy” – sarah palin waved to the crowd, and winked.
“mccain campaign faltering” – sarah palin pulls a crowd of 50,000
“reaching out to the conservative base” – hilary supporters switch to the mccain/palin ticket
“evangelical right wing” – working class blue collar democrats, ex-hilary supporters
“conservative talk radio” – people we never ever interview for their opinion.
“hugh hewitt” – who he?
“rush limbaugh” – fascist bastard who we will certainly never ever interview
“denis praeger” – who he?
“ron paul libertarians” – figment of my imagination
“bobby jindal” – indian guy whos a member of the racist republican party, who we also never interview
“mitt romney” – mormon guy who is a member of the far-right christian nutter republican party, who we also never interview
“mike gravel” – 911 truther. democrat. now where’s the red carpet for his interview. (bbc news 24 today…)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_Gravel
The Daily Mail – mentioned when a condescending snigger is called for
CBeebies – you cannot start too young
“smoking” – something very very evil that you should get the kids to report their parents on.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/cbbcnews/hi/newsid_7640000/newsid_7647200/7647277.stm
“christianity” – whats that?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/cbbcnews/hi/extra_stuff/default.stm
“islam” – the second biggest religion in britain and is like totally awesome, dude..
http://news.bbc.co.uk/cbbcnews/hi/newsid_4180000/newsid_4188200/4188287.stm
“communism” – a system of government that provides for people’s healthcare, education and welfare
http://news.bbc.co.uk/cbbcnews/hi/newsid_2150000/newsid_2151500/2151593.stm
“oil price stability” – lower oil prices even though they have fallen through the floor already, and i dont want to lower petrol taxes
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7703862.stm
“tour of the region” – going cap in hand to the arabs , cos we’re fucking broke
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7703862.stm
“refinancing and stability of the financial system” – yes, we really are going cap in hand to the arabs cos we’re broke…
“new international financial rules” – we really dont have a clue , but it must be good because Gordo is running around begging the arabs for something or other…
“Campaigners” – Shrill lunatics who only the BBC could take seriously. Usually have green dreadlocks, rings through their noses and live up trees
“Commentators say” – Imaginary people, used as a way to slip Beeboid opinions into news items
“public opinion” – we had a straw poll in the bbc office…
Edgy = anything whatsoever we want to put on, and if the licence fee paying public don’t ‘get’ it its because they’re intellectually inferior to us.
Climate Change = A marxists wet dream.Ultimate control over every aspect of your life. We say its manmade and won’t allow any other viewpoints. (Ignore that BBC programme last that shows and lions enjoying London weather the last climate change cycle – and where was man?)
The OmegaMan | 01.11.08 – 3:58 pm |
Absolutely. Nice one.
“mark mardell” – a way of reporting on the European Union without reporting on the European Union.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/thereporters/markmardell/
see also entry on “Ireland – government spending cuts”
“the surge” – a heresy that dare not speak its name in BBC offices
“the awakening” – a heresy in iraq, obviously part of CIA psyops and never really happened…
“general petraeus” – some minor u.s.soldier who we really couldnt be bothered with interviewing…
BBC presenter = 10 to 1 he’s a leftie
Chairman of BBC discussion prog = another bloody leftie
BBC comedian = unfunny even more extreme leftie
BBC Radio 4 afternoon play = bleating on about the underclass or immigrants – or both
BBC website moderator = fascist leftie censor
BBC reporter = opinionated leftie who leaves out most of the news
BBC Defence Correspondent = some bird who was Paris correspondent until a week or so ago so she must be a real expert !
BBC Trust = lack of
Newswatch = no-one’s really watching in the sense of overseeing, just old Snoddy pulling umpteen grand for a cosy chat each week
“ireland” – some island somewhere to the west of us. only important if a bomb goes off…
“netherlands” – some country just to the south of us. only important if some right wing racist guy says something bad about islam
“palestine” – very very important country that we have to report on all the time.
“iraq” – not at all important. nothing to see here move along now (and dont mention the surge)
“congo” – very very important country which deserves lots of aid and help and our soldiers. poor things
“african union” – never heard of that…
“arms trade” – something that britain never ever engages in. and if we do, at least we’ve got comic relief to sort out the mess.
Archduke – a total ignoramus who failed Genetal Science GCSE.
Genital Science?
That’s a new one…
Nearly Oxfordian = an anagram of “A Darn Fixer Loony”
LOL.
Or, “Fax Loony Air Nerd”
Nearly Oxfordian – somebody who resorts to name calling when they are losing the argument
as in
“you are going nearly oxfordian on me”
or
“despite the fact that obama went nearly oxfordian, mccain held his ground”
The BBC has learnt = Downing Street has told us what to say
“sources tell the bbc” – the EU/UN/Downing street has told us how to spin this one…
Ignore anti-jihad ideas = ignore anti-jihad books http://www.jihadwatch.org/books/
“jihad” – a struggle for inner peace.
“islamic terrorism” – doesnt exist. what are you talking about?
“beslan” – some russian thing that happened ages ago that we’d rather forget about…
“unionist” – religious bigot. and a fascist bastard
“irish republican” – misunderstood irish guy with semtex and a rather large car bomb.
“rangers supporter” – see unionist
“celtic supporter” – see “irish republican”, but without the semtex, maybe.
“dublin” – a fairytale place where government reduces taxes during an economic boom, and doesnt really exist
“irish credit crunch” – a fairytale place, at the end of the rainbow, with the crock’o’gold, thats doing the complete opposite to gordon brown, by reducing government spending because of the credit crunch, and really does not exist so we wont report on it , as it’ll make Brown look like a complete fucking idiot.
“urgent aid” – the africans couldnt be arsed with helping their fellow human beings out. too busy buying weapons and have told us to fuck off.
so whitey has to pick up the slack.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/7704237.stm
“intervene” – the politically correct replacement for the word “imperialism”
see here:
http://newsforums.bbc.co.uk/nol/thread.jspa?sortBy=2&forumID=5567&edition=1&ttl=20081101195951&#paginator
“Fears are growing” – the politically correct version of “those black people cant look after themselves”
see “intervene” above.
“horrified” – i knew all along.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7704276.stm
Oh Lordy, Dreary Oxfordian is back wrecking a thread. Haven’t you got a Nobel Prize for Being Jolly Clever to collect?
“oxfordian” – interrupting a discussion with inane jibes that do not contribute..
“your point of view is very oxfordian, but can we get back to the original subject?”
“oh stop being so oxfordian. the fact of the matter is…”
Nearly Oxfordian = Going on sixteen with pimples.
I know everything IDIOT PLEBS! = dreary oxfordian disagrees with you
Balanced political discussion =
Two possible meanings: 3 to 1 or 2 to 0 left to right discussants (Note to interviewer: last word to a Leftie)
“Hamas Activist” – sometimes refers to a murderer or supporter of mass murder of unarmed civilians by suicide bomb and shooting of civilians.
None — the amount of space given to noting the hundreds murdered in suicide bombings by Hamas in the BBC’s informative background piece “Who are Hamas?” ( http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/1654510.stm )
Oops-meant to add in the above definition “during the 2nd intifada.”
Revised definition:
“None — the amount of space given to noting the hundreds murdered in suicide bombings by Hamas during the 2nd intifada in the BBC’s informative background piece “Who are Hamas?” ( http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middl…ast/ 1654510.stm )
“Licence Fee Payer” – contributor to the champagne fund every time a left-wing government wins an election.
“Bloody Licence Fee Payer” – royal pain in the arse, probably indoctrinated by the eevil Daily Mail, who wrongly believes he/she has a right to question what we do.
Prank calls = lewd messages aired by public broadcaster
HYS = DHYS
White City (the news HQ) = Red City
BBC’s core purpose to “inform, educate and entertain” = propagandise and dumb down
Childrens TV presenter
One woman one gay and an ethnic minority
Balamory =
Tobermory on Isle of Mull with large ethnic population and Scots extremely interested in Diwali, Eid, etc.
Here’s something interesting for you children to see =
Two muslim guys slitting live goat’s throat
If this gets published it’ll be a best-seller.
Disproportionate force (1) = the Israelies have won
Disproportionate force (2) = the Americans have won
Computer course……Terrorist training in Pakistan.
Baby food factory….Bomb making facility.
Palestine = beautiful, highly-advanced country whose gentle inhabitants were busy perfecting a cure for cancer before they were invaded by neo-Nazi, Israeli sub-humans.
Temperature above 75 degrees in summer….global warming.
Snow in October…One of those things.
AGW sceptics = opponents of the consensus
Mohammedan who applies for a position as catering manager for non-Mohammedans (who, obviously, don’t follow halal laws), when told he may have to handle non-halal food as part of the job = victim of religious discrimination
Asian:
1)Markets = Stock Market of any country located in Asia.
2) Militant = Militant not usually from Asia. Most often of Muslim, Arab, or Middle Eastern descent.
Responsible = American
Consensus = We’ve asked everyone who agrees with us and they say yes!
Flag Waving = Patriotism
Patriotism = Nationalism
Nationalism = Ultranationalism
Ultranationalism= Fascism
Facism = Flag Waving
The Kumars at 42 =
Asians love a laugh (grandmothers have really wicked humour) or Celebrating the New Britain
Chairman of BBC Trust =
Really cushy job