As a project for the weekend I’ve decided to make a start on the World’s first Beebish/English dictionary. My hope is it will eventually prove an invaluable tool for the audience to better understand the BBC’s news reports – or that I might be able to flog it to the Beeb as a training resource for bucket loads of cash.
I have a few entries below already, but I’d be grateful for suggestions of others* that should be included.
- Australian MP = an Australian Labor politician
- Black MPs = Black Labour MPs
- Daring = Murderous
- Defamatory = Disagreeable
- Far right = Pro-life
- Liberal (in the US sense) = the consensus view in the UK
- Men = Islamist terrorists
- Plumbers = Islamist terrorists
- Republican official = a Republican official
- US mayor = a Democratic US mayor
* with links if possible.
Am I the only person here sexually aroused by balancing conkers on the end of my John Thomas?
Let`s not forget the letters they send if you dont have a TV.
All on the envelopes or seen through an envelope window;
TV LICENSING = The most important correspondence you get.
Reminder = we want your money
ACTION REQUIRED IMMEDIATELY = Pay up. No choice should be about it.
WARNING:IT IS A CRIMINAL OFFENCE TO USE A TV RECIEVER WITHOUT A VALID LICENCE = Postman, this fellow is a TV tax dodger.
YOU ARE HEREBY GIVEN NOTICE = We are trying to frighten you.
THIS PROPERTY IS UNDER INVESTIGATION = We would love to be KGB agents and harrass you but this is the nearest we get.
Your address has been identified = No licence on our database.
Please be aware… = We`re telling you now.
Please be advised..= We told you before.
“we have applied for internal authorisation for our Enforcement Officers to visit your property ” = We are asking ourselves for permission from ourselves for one of our selves to come round.
Repeat of all of the above == We are desperate.
I’ve also found that TVLA have the power to not only FORCE their way into your homes, but to FORCE you to perform fellatio on a stray animal of their choice.
Ridiculous. Especially as the stray animal at the time happened to be Vinnie Jones.
I think Mr. Brand has arrived for gossip about himself – typical egoist – and is hijacking identities.
“Impotence” – a TVLA salesman confronted by someone who knows their rights.
“Leaving with his tail between his legs” – a TVLA salesman trudging back to his car in the pouring rain after being denied entry to your home.
How did you all know i was Russell Brand?! Damn, totally busted!
Heterosexual =
Pervert probably prone to homophobia
Islamophobic =
Someone not pleased to see large numbers of nijabs in local shopping centre
Honour killing =
muslim parental domestic discipline of daughter
Honourable killings =
Licence payers holding BBC executives to account
Cuba, tropical paradise = Cuba, socialist shithole that most can’t wait to get out of even if it means risking their lives crossing to the US on a homemade raft
Have Your Say: Only If We Agree (see also Comment is Free).
Balance: Multiculturalism.
Balance: Distortion of reality.
Traditional: Barbaric (Yemen, which sells girls to men, is “traditional”)
This is really good.
I’d like to compile all this into a book form, flog it and use the proceeds to start a campaign for dismantling of the BBC.
Who’s with me?!
They forgot to include this, left-wing illuminati, destined to take the world to an all time deficit.