What can I say?
There isn’t much you can say about the BBC’s fawning submission to the unstoppable prophet of kooky pap, Russell Brand.
What could say it all is that this, em, genuine, ‘exclusive extract’, from Brand’s new booky wooky, courtesy of Michael Deacon at the Telegraph, isn’t the authentic Brand revealing his deepest and most cherished, fantastical imaginings but you’d be forgiven for thinking it was……Katz must be thinking how lucky he was to have had the bearded one in person on his show…and I suppose that’s what Newsnight is now….Showtime.
The political theorist and former Big Brother’s Big Mouth presenter Russell Brand has just published Revolution, a powerful treatise in which he calls for the overthrow of capitalism. Recently he declared that he believes so strongly in his views that he is “ready to die” for them. The news was widely welcomed.
Today we present an exclusive extract, taken from a chapter in which Mr Brand debunks the most egregious myths from political history.
It is entitled “A True ’Istory of Polly-wolitics an’ That”.
THE INVENTION OF THE WHEEL
The ’umble wheel. A beautiful idea, notion, concept, theory, brainchild, thinky-doodle. Its creators even made it round so it would symbolise the ever-revolving circularity of human consciousness.
They never intended the wheel for vulgar vehicular usage. Cavemen communities across the globe are horrified by the way their innocent innovation – employed originally as a kind of festive headgear – has been traduced by profit-crazed, environment-destroying manufacturers of cars, lorries, bicycles, scooters, prams and wheelbarrows.
General Motors has made a big heap of dosh out of the wheel. So’s Ford. And Toyota, Ferrari, Volkswagen, Lego.
But what percentage of those corporations’ annual profits – confirmed by experts to run well into the squillions – goes to the honest cavemen who invented it?
The figure is estimated at less than 0.15 per cent.
And what have our theoretically elected representatives done to tackle this nefarious injustice?
Zilch. As per usual, they prove cravenly supplicant to corporate tyranny.
THE BLACK DEATH
Even the cosiest Right-wing Establishment historians have come to accept that the Black Death was this massive plague 700 years ago that killed trillions of ’umble serfs, peasants and wenches.
Interesting, though, innit, how you never hear anyone in the mainstream media say that the Black Death was an inside job perpetrated by the Bush administration at the behest of the big oil companies.
Now, why would they want to keep schtum about that, d’you reckon? Could they possibly perchance have something to hide?
I’m not necessarily saying George W Bush developed a secret time machine to travel to 14th-century Europe, so that he could unleash the most devastating epidemic in history, on the orders of Halliburton.
What I am saying, though, right, is let’s keep an open mind about it.
THE MOON LANDINGS
Our money-guzzling Western hierarchies have an obvious interest in perpetuating the propaganda that walking on the Moon was some sort of triumph for mankind.
Conveniently, though, they always seem to gloss over the thousands of indigenous aliens they slaughtered when they got there.
As even the most cursory reading of Chomsky makes clear, America landed on the Moon solely as a means to consolidate its galactic hegemony. To this day it spends billions of lunar dollars a year arming itself against Neptune and Pluto.
Funny how you don’t hear about it on the BBC. The BBC never seems to find time to air anti-Establishment views.
As I was explaining only the other day on Newsnight, Today, News at Six, BBC Breakfast and Bargain Hunt.
The bloke is a fop….I call him Ruffell Brand, he is merely the manifestation of all things liberal inclusive and content-frei!
Lydon nailed him on that blog piece with Dame Polly Golly-gosh Poodle over at the Groan(Gaurdarbeitlung…Guardian to the unenlightened).
Brand is the worm on the hook of the wind-up world we are forced to pay for…yet we don`t need to comment on the frilly fop.
The BBC love him…Joey Barton who smells of old weed as opposed to linament(remember that gyz n gals?).
Whether we`re rising to the bait…or getting down in the gutter…old Ruffell is not worth the truffle.
As Wossy found to his cost…15Million wasn`t it?
And-lest you fret…or be frit…can I quote from the Wolverhampton Wonderer Himself…Percy as cited in the Book Of Zep , Chapter 4 …”Stairway”.
“If there`s a Russell in your hedgerow…don` be alarmed now…etal”
This also applies to Brands Kangapantied “idiot l`ilbro”…Ruffell Howard.
May I dedicate this blog to Guesswho…hello Cleveland!
Brand and the BBC. Truly a marriage made in hell. I hope they will be very happy together. I think I will avoid both.
On a serious note- if that is possible- it is an indictment of liberal thought that Brand is considered worthwhile listening to.
The liberal elite is really losing it now.
No comment.
An end of capitalism might do him the world of good.
No more would he be able to live off the fruits of others labours and a spell in some salt mine or breaking stones for sixteen hours a day for the glory of the working class would leave him little time to whinge and complain.
Our grandparents had Bertrand Russell, we get Russell Brand.
On a lighter note; another step to irrelevance for the BBC.
Frankly wouldn’t want Bertrand Russell either, another ‘caring’ progressive whose formulae for the improvement of society bear the trés familiar lefty stamps of vicious fuckwittery and blithe acceptance of mass casualties for the unenlightened on the way to the bright new progressive future.
Still, he’s dead now (and much improved by death as they say). Whether he regaled the world at large with details of his shag-a-delic exploits, I’ve frankly no idea. Hope not.
What a delightful tale ! I must write it down so as to share with the vicar after church tomorrow. Many thanks indeed.
All the films he has made , were obviously shot ,edited ,& financed by North Korea .
You could have chosen a better demographic than vicars, Buggy!
Why is it that an arrant fool like Brand is allowed to air the jejune nonsense going on inside his head on the public broadcaster, whilst someone genuinely witty and thought-provoking, like Pat Condell, would not be allowed within one mile of Broadcasting House? Of course, we all know the answer to that question.
Perhaps I have become a boring old fart, but Mr Brand is a new phenomena, a boring young fart.
He ticks all the BBC boxes: anti capitalist, pro-Palestinian, Islamophiliac, greenish, appeals to the BBC concept of rioting dissatisfied yoof, and does a good line in sanitizing what civilised people describe as atrocities like FGM, or female circumcision as he calls it. Oh yes, and criticizing the BBC for not being left wing enough.
Brand is perhaps the culmination of all the BBC’s propaganda over past years.
He may be running for Mayor of London.
I think you are quoting the wrong Beeboid.
The above is clearly from ‘Horrible Histories’ not Russell Bland.
Russell Brand certainly makes me laugh but not in the way he intended.
His hatred of capitalism is so deep that he has withdrawn all his cash from the bank and burned it…hasn’t he?
“Russell Brand: Newsnight’s tragic solution to its plummeting ratings”
By Rod Liddle.
http://blogs.spectator.co.uk/rod-liddle/2014/10/russell-brand-newsnights-tragic-solution-to-its-plummeting-ratings/
Capitalism is evil!
Buy my book to find out why.
stinking rich as with all other lefties.
Surprised Sam Allardyce didn’t push him off after that West Ham game on Saturday as he barged into his post match interviews and started kissing him. As always a rich, lefty celebrity who thinks he can do what he pleases whereas if anyone else had got in there they would have been arrested
I really didn’t know there was a real Peter Pan of politics .
Yes…talking about a revolution is wee Ruffell!
He was at it again, shouting over others on “Start The Week” a few hours ago.
Sutcliffe(no relation) deserved every bit of Brands flinging his faeces all over the bien-pensant weekend rebels and moochers who are also “guests on the show”.
Shouty Jones has taught them all well-we`re now post-argument, and into the Freisler School of “dialectic”…a word that Joey Bartons research monkey must have left highlighted for the Brantub to regurgitate…from Small Faces to Small Faeces in two generations!
Typical BBC left Tomfoolery from Sooty!…and a washup of a show.
Imagine Brand only went in to get a shower…he`s surely never up THAT time in the morning, now that Jemima Puddleduck Khan has removed her hand from up his fundament.
If we offered Russell a Royal Variety Funeral package with a time limit of 28 days…do you think he`d take this?…and any thought on the arrangements?
It was a total parody of sensible discussion – arch-lib US woman slagging off George Bush (yawn) and the idiot Brand showing off his ignorance again. Half-way through he referred to “that racist geezer” in a clear reference to Farage – I wondered if that could be actionable ? (Someone posted the Mail article by Migration Matters Green over the weekend – there was a line where he said he got fed up with the racist tag and sued the Mirror, warned the other papers off). Idiot leftie Tom Sutcliffe in the Chair should have pulled Brand up on that – but of course the BBC herd all seem to think that Farage is racist.
And yet?
By squawking about Mike Reids execrable “UKIP Calypso”, the hapless BBC managed to give the old clot his first one and only hit record!
Read has been strumming and wanting to be a Costello type songsmith for years(call it Blackburnitis if you like)…but only the BBC could push his record into the hit parade.
Wonder if the BBC are taking a payola-type cut from pushing their boy Reid?…think there was laws against that?
As long as Tonys “Chop-Chop” isn`t reissued, we can live with Reid as pop star…but thanks for nothing Beeb!
“BBC attacked for inviting Russell Brand in to promote his book AGAIN… as he accuses Nigel Farage of being ‘that racist geezer'”
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2809541/BBC-attacked-inviting-Russell-Brand-promote-book-accuses-Nigel-Farage-racist-geezer.html#ixzz3HMMC82km