Category Archives: BBC Question Time

Question Time tonight comes from Bexhill-on-Sea; famous for staging the UK’s first ever motor race and the discovery of the world’s oldest spider web encased in amber. The constituency of Bexhill and Battle is represented by Greg Barker (C)

On the panel we have Francis Maude, Andy Burnham, George Galloway, Nick Ferrari and self-confessed binge-drinking druggie slapper Sally Bercow.

For those playing the Buzzword Bingo, we will be using the Educashun Educashun Educashun Rulez which means that ‘graduate tax’, ‘school building plans’ and ‘two year degree‘ are worth double BiasPoints. Any references to Ken Clarke win a BBC Hidden Agenda bonus turn, and a successful pairing of Raoul Moat with Thatcher is an instant champagne win. Nothing said by Sally Bercow will be valid for point scoring purposes if she is visibly under the influence.

As usual the LiveBlog will also cover the entertainingly awful This Week, which sees the scary duo of Michael Portillo and Ed “Blinky” Balls partnered on the Sofa Of Despair.

David Vance, TheEye and David Mosque will be taking an axe to red-tape here from 10:30pm.

Question Time tonight comes from Edinburgh, often known as the “Athens of the North” – because it is full of striking socialists and unemployed alcoholics Irn Bru drinkers.

On the panel we have an interesting mix: a double-Coalition effort of Lord Forsyth and Scottish Secretary Michael Moore MP, Wee Dougie Alexander MP, Nicola Sturgeon MSP and voice of the Carphone Warehouse adverts, failed comedian Ed Byrne.

For those playing the Buzzword Bingo, we will be using the Slash And Burn Rules (2010 revision) which means that ‘cutting red tape’, ‘liberty’ and ‘dead hand of socialism‘ will not appear on the BBC, but  ‘the dead unburied’, ‘hitting the poor hardest’ and ‘schools’n’hospitals’ are worth double BiasPoints. Snide comments about Michael Gove apologising for a civil servant’s typing error win a free dice roll, and ‘Worse than Thatcher’ is an instant win if played together with a ‘Nasty Party’ joker.

As usual the LiveBlog will also cover the entertainingly awful This Week, which sees the scary duo of Michael Portillo and Miliband (D) draped over the sofa in glorious widescreen.

David Vance, TheEye and David Mosque will be standing on the shoulders of giants here from 10:30pm.

David Vance, TheEye and David Mosque will be engaged in legitimate crowd control here from 10:30pm.

Question Time tonight comes from Glasgow, where in 2006 the Centre for Social Justice reported that 29.4% of the city’s working-age residents were “economically inactive” and where the city council has been controlled by Labour for over 30 years. Coincidence?

Update: Yes, apologies, it was in Canary Wharf. Was reading the wrong list.

On the panel we have the halo-tarnished Business Secretary St Vince of Cable (let’s see if the BBC love him these days) the shadow education secretary Ed “Blinky” Balls, the leader of the Green Party Caroline Lucas MP, Mail on Sunday columnist Peter Hitchens, and the founder of lastminute.com Brent Hoberman.

For those playing the Buzzword Bingo, we will be using the Coalition Bashing (Budget) Rules (2010 Volume3) which means that ‘Bank Levy’, ‘VAT’ and ‘hit the poor’ will only score if played with your Evil Tories joker. ‘Capital Gains Tax’ is wild and references to ‘Thatcher’ are worth triple points if in the same sentence as ‘cuts’. Getting ‘Dead Rotting In The Streets’ on your card is an instant win.

As usual the LiveBlog will also cover the entertainingly awful This Week, which sees the deadly duo of Michael Portillo and Diane Abbott reunited in glorious widescreen.

TheEye and David Mosque will be standing on the shoulders of giants here from 10:30pm.

For those playing the Buzzword Bingo, we’ll be playing the Lord Servile Rules which means players may bring a sub-machine gun along but have to deny it afterwards. Nail-bombs will be confiscated at the door. Bonus points will be awarded for combinations of Palin and Thatcher on the same card, BP and Obama, Ed Balls and Loser, and also for any reference to Belgium.

As usual the LiveBlog will also cover the entertainingly awful This Week, presented by Brillo in cahoots with his “resident helper” Michael Portillo. No sign as yet if it’ll be Flinty there for “balance”.

David Vance, TheEye and David Mosque will be engaged in legitimate crowd control here from 10:30pm.

For those playing the Buzzword Bingo, we’ll be invoking the Nothing New Under The Sun Rules which means that all of last week’s topics Gun Control, Israeli Piracy, and BP Oil Slick score a rollover bonus. Those with the phrase “Afghanistan” or “Labour Leadership” on their cards advance four squares, and any positive references to “Geert Wilders” result in an instant win.

As usual the LiveBlog will also cover the entertainingly awful This Week, presented by Brillo in cahoots with Michael Portillo and Caroline Flint.

David Vance, TheEye and David Mosque will be holding back the hordes of barbarians here from 10:30pm.

For those playing the Buzzword Bingo, we’ll be invoking the KneeJerk Responses Protocols which means that Gun Control, Israeli Piracy, and BP Oil Slick all merit an extra free roll of the dice. Those with the phrase “Something Must Be Done” on their cards will be handicapped by a pre-game deduction of 50 points, and news that over 1,000 schools have asked to become Academies will only be worth a point if referred to in a negative way.

As usual the LiveBlog will also cover the entertainingly awful This Week, presented as usual by a bewigged and insane bingo caller from Paisley at the twilight of his career.

Once again David Vance, TheEye and David Mosque will be holding back the hordes of barbarians here from 10:30pm.

For those playing the Buzzword Bingo, we’ll be trialling the BBC Coalition Undermining Protocols (2010 revision) which means that referring to David Laws as a closet Tory is worth double points and a sell-out traitor gets you 20 credits to spend in the Biased-BBC online shop. As the first question will definitely be an attempt to get John Redwood to criticise Coalition economic policy, players can only nominate “taxes” as their joker together with a named-tax under-card.

As usual the LiveBlog will also cover the entertainingly awful This Week, which will be missing the mad banterists Abbott and Portillo…the sofa will be temporarily relaxing under the less stressful load of David Davis and Hazel Blears. It’ll be Godzilla vs the Chipmunk.

Your re-elected and loyal 1922 Committee is once again TheEye and David Mosque, who have chosen not to have ministerial cars but will be arriving by public transport here at 10:30pm.

For those playing the Buzzword Bingo, we’ll be invoking the “BBC Coalition Attention Distraction Rules” which means that playing your joker on Labour Leadership gets you double points for every lefty nonentity name-checked more than five times. Combining Backtracking with either Europe, Inheritance Tax or Human Rights Act means that you get to pass ‘Go’ but not collect a Married Couples Allowance. Players with Foxhunting can only be trumped by Trident or by using the concealed Lembit Opik gambit.

As usual the LiveBlog will also cover the entertainingly awful This Week, which surely by any measure of impartiality can’t feature newly declared candidate to lead the Labour Party, Diane Abbot…could it?

Dissenting backbenchers aside, your governing coalition will once again be TheEye and David Mosque, who will be dispensing with motorcycle outriders and appearing here from 10:30pm