Author Archives: All Seeing Eye

Question Time 3rd June 2010

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Question Time tonight comes from Brecon, the third largest town in Powys; home to the Gurkha Regiments and birthplace of Roger Glover from Deep Purple.

The Parliamentary seat of Brecon and Radnorshire is represented by LibDem Roger Williams. Williams is a man so successful that he went from LibDem Welsh Spokeweasel before the election to apparently no job afterwards, and his profile page on the main LibDem website gives a PageNotFound error.

On the panel we have David Willetts, Andrew Neil’s favourite chocolate hob-nob Diane Abbott, Plaid’s Leanne Wood, Matthew Parris and Kelvin MacKenzie (again). Wood is only known for her morbid fascination with “wimmins issues” and being the first AM to be thrown out of the Welsh Assembly (for insulting The Queen).

For those playing the Buzzword Bingo, we’ll be invoking the KneeJerk Responses Protocols which means that Gun Control, Israeli Piracy, and BP Oil Slick all merit an extra free roll of the dice. Those with the phrase “Something Must Be Done” on their cards will be handicapped by a pre-game deduction of 50 points, and news that over 1,000 schools have asked to become Academies will only be worth a point if referred to in a negative way.

As usual the LiveBlog will also cover the entertainingly awful This Week, presented as usual by a bewigged and insane bingo caller from Paisley at the twilight of his career.

Once again David Vance, TheEye and David Mosque will be holding back the hordes of barbarians here from 10:30pm.

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Question Time 27th May 2010

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Question Time tonight comes from Gravesend in Kent, famous mostly for the world’s oldest surviving cast iron pier and being the town where Pocahontas died. The seat of Gravesend is held for the Conservatives by former SAS Captain Adam Holloway.
On the panel we have former Welsh Secretary John Redwood, Liberal Democrat Susan Kramer who lost to Zac Goldsmith in the Richmond Park seat, Alastair Campbell, Piers Morgan and Sir Max Hastings. Piers Morgan is more correctly called ‘Piers Stefan Pughe-Morgan’ if you ask his mother, or ‘Piers Moron’ if you ask any Private Eye reader.

For those playing the Buzzword Bingo, we’ll be trialling the BBC Coalition Undermining Protocols (2010 revision) which means that referring to David Laws as a closet Tory is worth double points and a sell-out traitor gets you 20 credits to spend in the Biased-BBC online shop. As the first question will definitely be an attempt to get John Redwood to criticise Coalition economic policy, players can only nominate “taxes” as their joker together with a named-tax under-card.

As usual the LiveBlog will also cover the entertainingly awful This Week, which will be missing the mad banterists Abbott and Portillo…the sofa will be temporarily relaxing under the less stressful load of David Davis and Hazel Blears. It’ll be Godzilla vs the Chipmunk.

Your re-elected and loyal 1922 Committee is once again TheEye and David Mosque, who have chosen not to have ministerial cars but will be arriving by public transport here at 10:30pm.

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Here Comes The New Boss…

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From the Sunday Times: 

“The Tories have reined in plans to freeze the TV licence fee and force the BBC to reveal the salaries of its highest paid stars. After the party’s combative approach towards the corporation in the run-up to the election, Ed Vaizey, the new minister for media and arts, has used his first interview to tell the BBC that it will be treated firmly but fairly by the coalition government.”

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Question Time 20th May 2010

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The second post-election Question Time comes from Richmond, Surrey.
On the panel tonight we have a line-up positively pulsating with familiarity: Theresa May, Caroline Flint, Ming Campbell, Universal Shami and Douglas Murray from the Centre for Social Cohesion.

For those playing the Buzzword Bingo, we’ll be invoking the “BBC Coalition Attention Distraction Rules” which means that playing your joker on Labour Leadership gets you double points for every lefty nonentity name-checked more than five times. Combining Backtracking with either Europe, Inheritance Tax or Human Rights Act means that you get to pass ‘Go’ but not collect a Married Couples Allowance. Players with Foxhunting can only be trumped by Trident or by using the concealed Lembit Opik gambit.

As usual the LiveBlog will also cover the entertainingly awful This Week, which surely by any measure of impartiality can’t feature newly declared candidate to lead the Labour Party, Diane Abbot…could it?

Dissenting backbenchers aside, your governing coalition will once again be TheEye and David Mosque, who will be dispensing with motorcycle outriders and appearing here from 10:30pm

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Question Time 13th May 2010

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The first post-election Question Time comes London.
On the panel tonight are Lord Heseltine and Simon Hughes for the Liberals, Lord Falconer for Labour, Melanie Phillips for all those who mistakenly thought they were voting for a right-of-centre government last week, and Mehdi Hasan, who may or may not be an 83 year old ghazal singer from  Karachi.

For those playing the Buzzword Bingo, we’ll be invoking the “BBC Spoiling Agenda rules update of 2010” which means that all attempts to sow discord amongst the new allies win double points. Mentions of Europe are wild, I agree with Nick places you in Nidd for a turn and players who score PR, Inheritance Tax and Trident in a straight line win a ticket to one of Richard Black’s nosebleed-inducingly utterly fair and impartial conferences. Overall game winners receive two tickets and a complimentary sick-bucket.

TheEye and David Mosque are determined to ignore the opinions of their supporters and continue in a Moderating Coalition for a fixed term, which will begin at 10:30pm and finish when This Week ends – or when 55% of Parliament votes to dissolve the liveblog.

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Lib-Con Negotiations Stall Over BBC Question Time

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Humour Alert: Courtesy of the excellent Man Widdicombe blog.

Talks between David Cameron and Nick Clegg have broken down this afternoon, much to the shock of pundits and journalists. Most of the major hurdles; voting reform, taxation, education, and immigration, had been overcome and both parties were heading confidently towards a formal coalition for stable government.

Then the question of BBC Question Time was raised.

Both leaders agreed that if they were going to jointly form the government then it would be ‘unfair’ to have two seats around the table on a Thursday evening but the question of how to allocate representatives from both parties have lead to difficulties. The Tories are adamant that they should have 6 out of every 7 weeks while the Lib Dems are holding out for alternating appearances on the show.

Meanwhile we have learned that when Gordon Brown tried to derail the negotiations he offered to arrange a permanent seat on the panel for Sarah Teather in exchange for replacing Dimbleby with Charlie Whelan. We have to assume from the angry outburst reported from the leader of the Labour Party that this was turned down.

Both teams have returned to their respective parties to discuss their options and to see if there are any suggestions to move the negotiations forward. Senior Tories are looking at the idea of arranging for Lembit Opik to be the showbiz correspondent for the This Week show, now that he is no longer required to attend Parliament, as a way of resolving the impasse.

An announcement is expected soon.

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Cheers, BBC! Cheers, Jane Garvey!

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Now might be a good opportunity to reminisce; recalling those old, but not forgotten, times….
“I do remember… the corridors of Broadcasting House were strewn with empty champagne bottles. I’ll always remember that”
Jane Garvey on BBC Five Live, May 10th 2007, recalling May 2nd 1997 (Audio / Transcript)
We’re betting it’s not like that this year, eh, Beeboids?
However this is currently the view from your liveblog Moderator’s desk at Chateau Eye. Cheers!

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Election Night LiveBlog

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Here it is – the Election Night Liveblog…..starting when polls close at 10pm and carrying on until the last Moderator collapses in a gibbering drunken stupor over their laptop.

We’re live and dangerous across 10 blogs –  All Seeing Eye, Barking Spider, Biased-BBC, Corrugated Soundbite, Dick Puddlecote, Governmentitus, GrumpyOldTwat, Man Widdicombe, Subrosa and Red Rag Online with the usual motley crew of Moderators from the Question Time liveblog.

See you here at 10pm!

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Election Night LiveBlogging

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It’s almost here…the night that should see only the second change of a ruling party in the UK since 1979.

We’ll be hosting another LiveBlog; this time starting when the polls close at 10pm and finishing when the last Moderator expires from alcohol poisoning in the early (or not so early) hours of the morning. As background information, these were the declaration times from 2005.

As we’ve done previously, this is a joint LiveBlog collaboration with a host of other splendid blogs; on Biased-BBC, All Seeing Eye, Barking Spider, Corrugated Soundbite, Dick Puddlecote, Governmentitus, GrumpyOldTwat, Man Widdicombe, Subrosa and The Red Rag. Ten splendid and highly recommended blogs, one livechat! The moderators will be the usual Biased-BBC motley crew.

Join us for a night of excitement and high drama from 10pm on Thursday…

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