Brexit is coming for your biscuits!

Supermarkets ‘raise the price of Christmas biscuits’

Of course, as you already know, Brexit is to blame.

There has been a trend this year of rising food prices, driven by the weakness of the pound which makes imported food more expensive.

I wouldn’t be surprised if the Brexiteers engineered this all along. Every time you try to eat a biscuit after we declare war on the EU by leaving it in March 2019, a racist white van man will punch you in the face and shout “NO TO FOREIGN NAMED SNACKS! DON’T YOU KNOW THAT BISCUIT MEANS ‘TWICE-COOKED’ IN FRENCH? YOU TRAITOR TO THE NATION” before robbing your GP of £350m.

But wait a minute…

The report says that a steep rise in butter prices is partly to blame.

What they aren’t telling you is that this is a problem that has developed in the EU, a result of EU interference in the production of butter.

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9 Responses to Brexit is coming for your biscuits!

  1. Guest Who says:

    They shall have to tear my Hob Nobs from my cold, dead hands…


  2. Wild Bill says:

    Should be a good thing then if helps keep the rise in obesity under control.


  3. Scroblene says:

    Let them eat lard then, much better for you, or sell pork fat nice and cheaply as well, it’ll make for a stronger Britain!, and a place for true Brits and our farmers to call their country back from that awful French butter which always tastes sour anyway!


    • Number 7 says:

      Try Welsh salted butter – difficult to find in England. When Mrs7 goes over ‘The Bridge’ she has quite a few orders to deliver to relatives.


  4. Nibor says:

    The government could help reduce prices by lowering taxes . In fact if local business rates were reasonable it would mean the town centres would be saved .


    • Fedup2 says:

      I knew the crunch would come sooner or later . I’ve actually written to my MP. I hope he can pull himself away from the parliamentary porn library ( the “ i was only doing it to see how easy it is to find porn” defence ). A touching idea … best not


  5. taffman says:

    “Brexit is coming for your biscuits!”
    Can you imagine the reaction of people of Great Britain if we were given the ultimatum during WW2 ? ……………..”Surrender your sovereignty or we blockade your biscuit supply” 😀
    This nation is full of snowflakes and lemon puffs thanks to Al Beeb.
    Shop around or buy less biscuits. There are too many fat people in this country anyway.

    They, the remoaners are really getting desperate.


  6. Alicia Sinclair says:

    A priceless article for those of us that wondered how the hell the New European gets funded. Nobody advertises in it-so who`s paying Campbells fat salary?
    Robert Maxwells estate?
    Lve the bit where Birrell says that we all crave a biased paper as long as it`s openly biased. Surely a come on for the first Anti-Muslim, Pro Brexit, BBC-hating paper? Jayde and Tommy ?…your hour is near!


  7. Lucy Pevensey says:

    I don’t touch most cake/bread/biscuit/sweet products anymore. I’m highly selective because nearly everything including a lot of the ice cream & ready made custard is loaded with palm oil. One of the worst fats there is for your arteries. Most people don’t read labels so haven’t noticed they have sneakily replaced a lot of dairy & rapeseed oil with palm fat in recent years. It’s worse than lard.
    Everything biscuity I used to eat like digestives, hob nobs & Jaffa cakes all have palm oil. There is one Belgian biscuit I know of with none. I eat those. Palm oil is dirt cheap so they don’t mind feeding the masses on it. I have no idea how it effects our dairy farmers but I suspect it’s another way of siphoning wealth from the west into Africa. Someone must be making a lot of money from palm crops. I make my own bread now because there are very few brands available from the big supermarkets without artery-clogging palm oil.

    Example: Mcvities Digestive Biscuits
    Flour (54%) (Wheat Flour, Calcium, Iron, Niacin, Thiamin),
    Vegetable Oil (Palm),
    Wholemeal Wheat Flour (16%),
    Partially Inverted Sugar Syrup,
    Raising Agents (Sodium Bicarbonate, Malic Acid, Ammonium Bicarbonate),
    Dried Skimmed Milk.

    They try to call it vegetable oil to trick people into believing that is what it is. But palm oil is a hard saturated fat.
    Sorry for the rant. Nothing to do with BBC.