Hat tip to “Votefor” in the comments for drawing attention to the latest edition of Newsround (the BBC’s news programme aimed at children, for those who don’t know).
This evening’s programme began with a report from Manchester showing kids enjoying a day off school because of the snow.
Innocent winter fun, same as it ever was?
Not as far as the BBC Newsround thought police are concerned, relentless as they are in their fight against potential global warming thoughtcrimes.
Back in the studio, presenter Sonali was on hand to remind any young viewers who had spent the day having fun in the snow about the terrible super-heated future of our planet:
Sonali: Now this cold snap has been going on since before Christmas so you probably won’t be surprised to hear that last month was the coldest December we’ve had in 14 years. But we’re always hearing about global warming so what’s going on? Well BBC weatherman Simon King has popped into the studio to help clear up any confusion. Hi there Simon.
Simon: Hello.
Sonali: So why are we seeing this snow when the planet’s heating up?
Simon: Well the snow we’re seeing at the moment is actually a very rare event. Normally we’d expect to see much milder conditions, but if we look at the whole of 2009 and average the UK temperature, 2009 was actually the fourteenth warmest year on record, so things are signalling to be warming up.
Sonali: And do you think, then, it would have been even colder at the moment?
Simon: Well decades ago the river Thames used to freeze, we used to have snow and ice every week causing all sorts of disruption, so things in the future we could start to see more extreme weather like this. It won’t happen every year unfortunately but we could see more colder winters and much hotter summers, so lots of heavy showers, flooding possibly in the United Kingdom and other severe weather across the globe.
Sonali: Really? Everywhere, everyone is going to see extreme weather?
Simon: Absolutely. Well, the globe is warming up. If we look at the whole of the globe and average all of the temperatures there, we can actually say that 2009 was the fifth warmest year on record so the signals are certainly there that our planet is warming up.
Sonali: Thank you very much for coming in Simon. And speaking of that extreme weather, over on the other side of the world Australia has been sweltering through its hottest decade since records began. Now part of the country is recovering from another natural disaster – powerful rainstorms.
Hope that helps to “clear up any confusion” kids. You see, we used to have snow and ice “every week”, but because of global warming we get milder weather except when we get the same extreme weather we used to get before global warming. Or something. Anyway, never mind all that because it’s been a bit hot in Australia and now it’s a bit wet. You see, it’s all global warming, children. Just promise you won’t flick channels and watch all the news about record snowfalls in China and America, OK? That would be too much confusion to clear up in one programme.